IHOP - International House of Please Give Me Chicken Tenders

I was worried that I would not be able to enjoy the sensation of eating a chicken tender today. Upon arriving at Lou Malnati's with my co-workers at lunch, I found no trace of chicken tenders on the menu. They had an item in the children's section labeled 'chicken nuggets', but even I wasn't able to pull off a 12-year old. Shockingly my visage tends to look more adult-like even though I act like I am 12 at times. What can I say, my inner child likes to control my outer personage a lot. Picture that little alien inside the head of a human from Men In Black. That is my inner child. He looks like me but is very tiny.

Anyways, I already explained how I wasn't going to review a nugget at this time, so Lou Malnati's failed me. But a new joy arose inside of me when I heard plans from my friends to go to IHOP. I finished my work day anticipating the joy of eating the crispy chicken at 8:30 PM. The time had been set. I had a mission, and I found the tenders.

Now, you need to understand how hungry I was tonight (technically yesterday but it is still night in my mind). I hadn't eaten anything all day since I got a salad at Lou Malnati's at 12:30 PM. I went to the gym at 7:30 PM, and that made me even more hungry. I kept thinking to myself that these chicken tenders better be the best chicken tenders I have eaten in my life. Famous Dave's set a high standard for me, and I went to IHOP with high hopes. The chicken eggs inside of me hatched and turned into chicken tenders once I finally made it inside the restaurant. We got our seats at a nice little booth near the front door, and I grabbed the menu like it was the Magna Carter. I had to decipher it. And I did. I found what I was looking for. Below is my discovery:

Location: IHOP in Addison, IL
Name of Item in Menu: Crispy Chicken Strips
Price: $8.99 (before tax/tip)

Once Served-->

 

My tenders were surrounded by an ominous blue circle.

Upon receiving my meal the first thing that I noticed was that there were only 5 chicken tenders. 5?!!! Are you kidding me? Famous Dave's gave me 6 gorgeous tenders, and IHOP only gave me 5. I felt robbed, but I pressed on. I will note that this crispy chicken strip menu item was a dinner item, so it included a soup first (I got chicken tortilla) and then additional sides. I just took whatever was thrown at me because I only cared about the tenders. Once I looked at the array of items in front of me, I decided that the display of everything was pretty boring. First of all, my tenders looked like they had been malnourished and barely able to even lay down on my plate. I thought that they would just shrivel and fade away. The blob of mashed potatoes gave them some life, and the green from the broccoli made them look somewhat fashionable. The generic Texas Toast looking garlic bread stayed silent. I had to request honey mustard (not pictured) because I knew these frail looking tenders would need a new coat of paint.

Once Eaten-->

As usual, I took a bite of one of the tenders without any sauce. There was a country style home feeling that came upon me when I gnashed upon the chicken. I felt like I was on the range for a moment. Something wasn't right though. After two sauce-less bites I dipped the tenders into the tiny pool of honey mustard. I took a bite. The honey mustard exploded in my mouth with fury. This is amazing, I thought. Why were you not engulfed in honey mustard to begin with? Needless to say, the honey mustard turned that frail tender into a beast of a tender.

The teeth that I have in my mouth didn't agree with the rough coating on these tenders. The crispy outer shell was at times a bit too crispy. The men inside of my teeth inside of those teeth had to work a little overtime. It wasn't that bad overall though. Once I broke trough, the white chicken inside tasted pleasant. I did notice that I had to chew several times to engulf the bite of the tender, but it made it through my throat. I enjoyed the layers of white chicken inside of the crispy tender. Partnered with the honey mustard, they became fast buddies. I thought about ripping off the white chicken's crunchy coat, but I thought that would be rude, so I ate the whole thing.

Here is the breakdown for what I rate each category:

Name of Item (3) - Crispy chicken strips pretty much described exactly what I was eating, but I felt like they could've been more creative. There was nothing special about this name.

Display (2) - The ceramic plate that my tenders rested on felt out of place next to the scary garlic bread and mutant green vegetables. Not to mention they were inside this mysterious blue circle. If that was an invisible force field, my human fingers survived unscathed reaching into it.

Texture (3) - The crispyness was a little too crispy on these tenders, and their juxtaposition to the soft tender chicken inside did not present an equilibrium that was fully satisfactory to my being.

Taste (4) - Naked, and without a saucy coat, these tenders were not that special. Add in honey mustard and they became quite amazing and magnificent.

Fun Factor (3) - I had more fun going to IHOP itself instead of actually eating these tenders it is ridiculous. My inner monologue would be a whole separate post. Overall though picking up the tenders and putting them in my mouth wasn't as fun as I had imagined. The fact that I was pretty hungry at the time probably affected that.

Overall (3.5) - I applaud what IHOP has done with the chicken tender. I was not fully satisfied, but I would have no problem recommending them to anyone else. Don't let the 3 and a half tender score scare you. Compared to Famous Dave's, these tenders did not fare well. That is not to say that they weren't good. I did really like them. I would eat them in a pinch any time.

And there you have it. I had to share this review with the world at the sacrifice of my sleep. I couldn't fall asleep because I kept thinking about chicken tenders and how I would describe my journey at IHOP. I need to hop back into bed now though and let my mind wander to nothingness. I am sure I will dream of the beauty that is the chicken tender though and think to myself when I wake up, where can I find more chicken tenders? Until next time, I, Double Tender wish you a tender loving evening/morning/afternoon/space time continuum/time warp chicken tender mobile bundle of happiness.

Chicken Tenders/Fingers/Strips - What is the difference?

I need to make something clear here. Chicken tenders, chicken strips and chicken fingers are all the same thing. Let me break it down for you:

Chicken fingers --> they are tender, elongated, and look like a finger shaped like a strip
Chicken strips --> they are tender, usually elongated and sometimes the size and shape of a finger (not a human finger, that is gross)
Chicken tenders --> they are usually elongated, like a strip mall (rectangular) and resemble the shapes of fingers

That should clear things up for you. From now on though, since the name of this blog is Double Tender, I will henceforth be calling them Chicken Tenders. Finger strips sounds disgusting anyways. I like the sound of tenders. It feels peaceful and inviting. I don't want to eat fingers. I like to use my fingers to eat tenders. I don't want to strip the tenders either. They taste yummy with their crispy breadness on the outside. If I ate them without those ingredients, then this wouldn't be a blog about chicken tenders. It would be some weird blog that only talks about chicken. Who would do that? Chicken tenders are more worthy of an audience.

Some have been asking about chicken nuggets. Oh, how I love thee chicken nuggets. But alas, you shall have to wait awhile before I review those little round bundles of joy. For now I am focusing on purely chicken tenders. Once I exhaust the area where I live, and maybe even some frozen products, then I may move on to nuggets. But, if there is such a high demand to review the famous Chicken McNugget for example, then I may reconsider. Maybe somebody will actually comment on this blog. I'd like to give a shout out to the random Brian who is my sole commenter. I award you 5 out of 5 chicken tenders. Go forth and eat them.

Stay tuned for a new review Friday night. I am sure I will be eating some chicken tenders for lunch on Friday with my co-workers. Where will I be eating? The mystery! Even I do not know yet. It is so exciting! Just to think, some innocent chicken tenders are waiting for me to eat them. I will find you chicken tenders!

Famous Dave's - Where It All Began

Hello, and welcome to my blog. I like to call myself a connoisseur of chicken tenders, but in reality, I basically just love to eat them. I think most of us as kids enjoyed eating chicken tenders of some variety when we grew up. I don’t know about you, but I still like to eat them all the time, even today. I am 26, yet the child inside of me refuses to eat “fancier” or more “adult” food items at restaurants that carry those delicious tenders.

Chicken tenders embody so much, just talking about one experience with them does not do them justice. That is why I, Double Tender, have decided to document my experiences with chicken tenders and share them with the world. I not only want to share my love for chicken tenders, I want others to experience the joy of eating them and devouring their chickeny goodness. Yes, I just invented a new word now. That is how amazing chicken tenders are.

So, without further ado, I bring you my first ever review of a chicken tender product. This first location is dear to my heart in many ways. For one, it is where the name Double Tender comes from. I can share that story another time. I want to get to business with the tenders and describe my time with them.

Today, my co-workers and I decided to eat at Famous Dave’s for lunch. I had planned to write this blog last night, and I thought to myself, what a great location to start at. I knew deep in my heart already that Famous Dave’s makes a mean chicken tender. I had already eaten them before and was excited to eat them again, but this time with notebook in hand.

Below are my findings. I hope that you enjoy reading them and can taste the chicken tenders in your tender mind.

Location: Famous Dave’s in Addison, IL
Name of Item in Menu: Platter and Combo Special - two meat - double tender
Price: $8.99 (before tax/tip)

Once served —>

6 beautiful chicken tenders adorned on a blue checkered basket platter.

There were 6 chicken tenders on my platter, in addition to the macaroni I ordered and the muffin (with bottom and top) that came with it. Items were arranged evenly on a nice basket shaped platter. The basket was somewhat elevated so that my hands could easily reach down and grab the tenders. The basket had a nice blue checkered design that made the food look like it was sitting on a board game. My chicken tenders had the advantage because there were 6 of them. The muffin was alone, but the macaroni was in a bowl. There were many noodles but they could not force themselves to attack the tenders, because they were trapped. The tenders also had an nice ally: the sauce.

The chicken tenders were light brown and adorned with spices on top that made them look elegant. I would describe them as breaded and crispy-looking.

Once eaten —>

I took a couple bites of the tenders without using sauce. They had a nice texture that was both crispy and soft at the same time. They tasted normal, with a slight hint of spice, but something was missing. The sauce. That zesty Famous Dave’s I don’t know what you are sauce. Once I dipped my tender in the sauce, I naturally took a bite. The sauce had a nice kick that didn’t linger for too long. I proceeded to eat the rest of my tenders using the sauce that was provided. I didn’t bother messing with the other 25 sauces that were sitting on the table.

The white meat that was surrounded by the crispy bread tasted delicious. The chicken tenders were very easy to eat. My teeth could easily break through the crispiness to get to the tender inside. Not once did I feel like I had to break into Fort Knox to find the treasure. These tenders were so friendly and inviting. I became their friend and then devoured them. They served me well.

I devised a rating system so that I can compare my chicken tender endeavors to other restaurants. They are rated from 1 to 5, 5 being AMAZING. One point equals one chicken tender, and so forth.

Name of Item (2) - I expected more from Famous Dave’s. Something like Famous Tenders.

Display (4) - I like blue checkers and elevated baskets. They please my hands and eyeballs.

Texture (5) - The perfect blend of soft and crispy with the warmth of the sun.

Taste (5) - Pure bliss mixed with zesty sauciness.

Fun Factor (5) - Such delight and joy was brought to my being upon eating these tenders. The child that predominately lives inside of me smiled with pure happiness.

Overall (5) - Famous Dave’s knows what a chicken tender is. They know how to make them in a beautiful way.

This is the end of the beginning of my journey with chicken tenders. I plan to document my findings at other restaurants and possibly even at home with frozen products. I hope that you have learned something wonderful here. I hope that after reading this, you say to yourself, “I really want to eat a chicken tender now.” And if you do, my heart will be touched because I will have a fellow chicken tender lover to come along on this journey with me. Chicken tenders!